Letters To Zander
by TheWantedHOA
Summary: Zander and Kacey are dating. Stevie is in love with Zander. Stevie gets some life-changing news. Will she be able to keep her place in Gravity 5, stay friends with everyone and hide her jealousy? review./first zevie fic.
1. Letter 1

**Letters To Zander**

**-Disclaimer: _I do not own How To Rock or any of the characters._**

**BASED FROM LETTERS TO MADISON ON QUOTEV.**

/

_Dear Zander,_

_So this is where my letters begin._

_You've been together with Kacey for 3 months now. I'm sorry I didn't go to the celebration party, I have my reasons. I love you, Z. I have for a while. Seeing you with Kacey hurts, and I can't see that. I know I'm the worst best friend for not supporting you, but that's why. Best friends. That's all we'll ever be._

_Today I got some lifechanging news. I have cancer. Yep, you read it correctly. I started getting symptoms a while back, but thought it was nothing. A few weeks ago I went to the doctors to see what it was, he done a few tests and they got back today. They're going to try everything they can to get rid of it, Zander. I don't want to tell you, I don't want you to see me as anything more as Stevie Baskara, your best friend. Not Stevie Baskara, your best friend who has cancer. I know you'd want me to stay strong, so that's what I'm gonna do. I'll act like I'm okay, for the benefit of you... And Gravity 5. Mainly you._

_Love,_

_Stevie_

I closed the book of my diary and locked it in my bedside table. I leant my head back against my wall and shut my eyes. Darkness, it's so peaceful.

_Try to get used to it Stevie._

"stop thinking like that," I whispered angrily to myself. I wasn't giving up.

"Stevie, honey?" My mom opened the door, a pityful look on her face, "its time to go to hospital."

I sighed and got up, texting Nelson that I'm sorry I couldnt make it to rehearsals. I'd tell Zander, but he's probably _busy _with Kacey.

"Coming." I sighed.

* * *

"Hey Steviekins where were you yesterday?" Zander asked me the following morning in school.

"Um, I went out with my mom. She kinda forced me." It was sort of true, she forced me to go to the hospital when i _really _didnt want to.

"Okay," he looked convinced. We fell silent then and I looked around our practice room. Nelson and Kevin were asleep on the floor and Kacey hadn't arrived yet. I sat near Zander on the sofa. He lightly patted my back and leaned back, gesturing for me to lie next to him.

I blushed slightly, I hadn't done that since he started dating Kacey.

"Sorry I'm not tired," I lied. He frowned but just shrugged and closed his eyes.

_If only you knew, _I thought.

I felt myself sigh, which was obviously quite loud as Kevin twitched a little from his position on the floor. I jumped as Zander sat up.

"What's up?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me Stevie I know you better than anyone." He pointed out.

"I'm completely fine,"

"Damn it, no you're not! Come on Steves! I trust you with everything," He whined. I considered telling him, but Kacey pushed the door open.

"Hey boo!" She squealed, kissing Zander on the cheek and flinging her back over Nelson's keyboard. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I could just about see the smirk appear on Zander's face.

"Brb," Kacey said, skipping back out the door.

"You don't like Kacey," Zander laughed.

"Yes, I do like her. I dont like the way she acts at times." I confessed, crossing my arms.

"Stevie Baskara, are you jealous?" He said.

"No, Zander Robbins, I am not." I felt my cheeks heat up for the second time.

"Stevie's jealous of Kacey, Stevie's jealous of Kacey!" He chanted, pumping his fists in the air. I wanted to deny it, but it was true.

"You know what? I am. I'm jealous of Kacey. She's always happy and healthy, she gets everything she wants and has everyone wrapped round her little finger." I shouted, picking up my bag. Zander's mouth hung open a little.

"Stevie wait-" he started, but I was already out the door.

* * *

**x**

**Wow guess who's commited herself to writing ANOTHER chapter fic?! Me!**

**I promise I'll try to update as much as I can. **

**& i just started watching HTR. I ship Zevie. Review because it's cool. **


	2. Chapter 2

Letters To Zander

-Disclaimer: I do not own How To Rock or any of the characters.

/

_Dear Zander,_

_It's been a week since I stormed out. I admit myself I've been distant. Sorry._

_I just feel so un-needed. Was I given cancer for a reason? I want to spend my life doing good things. Fun things. Things to make my life worth living._

_But I can't._

_I can't do it without you Zander. I wanna tell you, but I'm Stevie. Telling you would ruin my reputation, or what's left of it. I wish things were back to normal, no 'zacey' as everyone said, no arguments, no terminal illness. The doctor told me my days are numbered. I have about 10 months. That isn't even a year, Zander!_

_I'm scared and I need you, but I'm too stubborn to say._

_Love,_

_Stevie._

I closed my notebook and put it in the cupboard. Once again, I wasn't going to band practice. I couldn't face them. What was I going to do that would make my last 10 months worth living? Bunjee jump? Climb mount everest?

I sighed. It would be useless without my friends anyway.

The sound of my doorbell snapped me out of my thoughts, and I heard my mum rush towards the door. She knocked into something, as I heard my older brother Ross telling her to stop distracting him.

I focused hard, but I couldnt hear what she was saying. It all sounded like mumbling until I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I panicked and threw myself face down on the bed, pulling this covers up over me. The covers blocked my ears, cutting off all sound.

I could faintly hear what sounded like "Stebwyhinv" and felt someone shaking my shoulder.

"Privacy much?" I complained, sitting up. I was greeted by a wide smile.

"You're alive! We thought you died," Zander said seriously. I let out a shaky laugh, _oh how ironic._

"Maybe I did,"

"Well you didn't!"

"Not yet,"

"Yeah, not for like 80 years!" He said cheerfully. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the tears from building in my eyes. Zander shuffled over to me and sat beside me on my bed, sprawling his legs over mine. I considered moving it, but i liked having them there.

"So why are you here?" _Wow, Stevie, that sounded harsh._

"I wanted to ask why you threw a fit last week." He stared into my eyes and I was suddenly finding it difficult to tell a lie.

"Nothing, didn't have any sleep, was a bit moody. Better now," I added a smile to make it seem more believable. Zander just rolled his eyes.

"The truth, Stevie." He said in an annoyed tone.

"That was the truth?" I pretended to be confused, thank God i took drama.

"I'm your best friend, why won't you tell me?" Zander whined. I felt terrible because he was right. I was the worst best friend ever.

"I want to!"

"Dont you trust me? Dont you love me?" He pouted and gave me puppy dog eyes._ Of course I love you, idiot._

"Yes I do, but I really cant tell you. Please respect that," I told him. It was easy to see he was getting angry and irritated that I wouldn't tell him.

"Fine," he said standing up, "Don't tell me. But good luck finding a friend who cares as much." He walked out the door, slightly slamming it behind him. I heard him say a quick goodbye to my mother, before leaving.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I my head fell into my hands.

"Honey, are you okay?" My mom asked me, sitting on the edge of the bed. I shook my head 'no'.

"Zander hates me, which means Kacey hates me, which means Kevin hates me, which means Nelson hates me!" I cried.

"They don't hate you. They'd be more understanding if you told them, you know." Mom suggested.

"No, then they'll treat me different." I sniffled, wiping my tears with my sleeve.

"No one is worth all these tears," She smiled, "Now come on, go wash up. Dinner's ready."

I smiled back and stumbled into my ensuite bathroom, leaning against the sink. I still looked like me, but I didnt feel like me. As I twisted the tap, I let the water run over my hands and splashed my face. I took the hairbrush and lightly pulled it through my dark hair, tying it in a pony tail. Before I exited the bathroom, I took one last glance in the mirror.

I looked lifeless.

**/**

**End of chapter 2! As i said, im AWFUL at keeping up with updating. I dont know why I start multichaps, only ever finished one. So basically dont expect regular updates from me.**

**Also just pointing out I know nothing about cancer, Im just using my own knowledge which isnt much. If you could help me in reviews that'd be great.**

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**Extra note: this (plus the a/n above) was written months ago. I had no internet.**


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